Sex in the 90's....
this one is for the professor.
Regarding sex;
I was born in the late 60s and my mother was pretty progressive about sex. She was open and communicated very clearly about reproduction changes, sexuality and all the topics related to sex. She was perhaps too open at times. It struck me as odd when my friends were embarrassed to talk about sex to their mothers and didn't have that kind of open dialogue with them that I had with my mother.
So , I planned to carry on the family tradition and have an open communication with my children. It was part of my great "parenting plans". All parents have these plans in their subconscious minds- some get carried out but MOST get ditched to the "reality" bin.
Needless to say, there have been a few "bumps" along the way.
When Jason was in fifth grade, he came home with the "permission slip". Any parent of an pre-adolescent knows about the "permission slip". You can check the "yes" box to your child watching the movie about male reproductivity; girls reproductivity or both.
OK, now when I was in school, the movie was VAGUE. The diagrams on the chalkboard included pictures of swimming tadpoles fighting their way to eat the egg. No one told us how the tadpoles got there- well, not exactly no one. Kyle had a bigger brother who explained it to him in musical prose so he proceed to teach us nasty songs about people from Nantucket.
So I SIGNED. I agreed to let my little boy learn all about the tadpoles AND the eggs. After all, I come from a long line of open minded, communicating women when it came to sex.
WELL, sex education is a little bit different in school these days. And, I am not VERY OLD!
I think they forgot the tadpole and egg story. Maybe even forgot to tell them about hormones, voice changes and the little red dot at the end of each sentence!
My son was sitting at the dinner table when my (very newly married) husband asked him how his day went. We then listened to a very long dissertation on how he, (my 10 year old son) was going to have a "choice". ?????????????? A what? We asked.
A choice. He could choose his sexuality. He proceeded to share with us that he lives in "more modern times" and things are different. He could choose to be strait or gay. He could choose when to have sex and how. He learned about condoms and things I still hadn't learned about. There are some new terms out there that may or may not be old behaviors. Frankly, I think they have invented some new things- but perhaps that is another post.
A CHOICE?????
Tony and I being deeply planted in our born again fundamentalism at the moment were appropriately shocked. I called the school and hey guess what, I SIGNED THE PERMISSION SLIP!
Well, what happened to the tadpoles and circle diagrams? I wanted to know. The answer was that honesty and open communication is healthier than keeping things hushhush.
I started this parenting thing BELIEVING that I would be open, honest and communicate with my child....... But man, FIFTH GRADE SEX EDUCATION HAS GOTTEN WEIRD!
I am happy to report that I did listen to my son.
I am even happier to report that he has a crush,
ON A GIRL!
I guess he made the right choice for him (LOL) and the fundamental part of my conscience can breath and sleep well tonight.
For me, it is not about grandchildren. You know, when parents of a gay child say, "but I hoped for grandchildren"-- that is definitely NOT how I feel. I am still having children of my own.
For me, it is just a confusing day when fifth graders are presented with TOO much information that I honestly believe they are not mature enough to understand or sort through yet.
don't you agree?
-jane
posted by Tera Rose | 9:35 PM
7 Comments:
"the little red dot at the end of each sentence!"
I have no idea what that means... Please tell me before my imagination runs amock.
Making a choice????? I thought the consensus is that you are BORN with your orientation and it is part of fundamentalist propaganda it is a choice and that gays can change.
Perhaps he meant a choice to embrace your born sexual orientation?
omg, that is scary. I just started college, and i took health two years ago, and there was NOTHING in it like that. Well I mean, you left the class knowing ALL the facts of life, but in fifth grade? they just told you who had what and what they did. they didnt start in on philisophical views and 'choices'.
Oh, this post burns me. So much so, I'll have to continue on my spot at some point. Choice? I'm going to have to pay more attention to those little notes they send home.
Too much information? Well I can tell you this? Old granny here had to go back and re-read the post to remember everything you wrote about, and the shock still hasn't worn off. I agree with you. I believe before they have parents sign the permission slip, they need to orient them on what their child is in for.
In my day (which was "back in the olden days" as it was called at one time) while my mother was either telling me about the stork or a story about going to the store and buying a baby, my older brother and some of the neighborhood kids were busy cluing me in on the real thang, but nothing, no nothing like what your son was educated in his 5th grade class.
david,
now I find myself embarrassed...red dot has nothing to do with sex but is a reference to the menstrual cycle...(period).
sorry to disappoint you.
jennifer- I wonder if it depends on where we live. Some areas are still conservative. In Connecticut we tend to be more liberal thinkers..sometimes it is good and sometimes it isn't.
brotha buck-will be looking for your post.
the gig- we were a little open mouthed with shock too. And my poor husband was soooo new to parenting, I did not know what he was going to say!
We get through it as parents somehow.
Thanks Jane.
Brought back memories of the tampon runs I made for my sister when I was 9.
Oh geez!
I suppose this is why it is important for parents to make clear to kids that school teaches some important things for life, but at home mom and dad teach you what is right and wrong
Post a Comment
<< Home